We never know whether baby will keep being healthy tomorrow. She could be feeling good today and then without any reason got sick the next moment.

Last night, we were feeding Mayenne. She has been crying for milk, sometimes within an hour of last feed. Moments after she finished her second round, she suddenly puked all the milk out. Though she did not cry after that, it was worrying. We patted her down and fed her about half hour later when she cried for it.

Today we were trying to see if her jaundice has subsided. Seriously, we can’t tell if she is yellow. Babies have this red-pinkish glow so it’s hard to tell. The fact that we Asian skins are yellowish didn’t help things. Doc did say that the other way to tell is by looking at her eyes. But I reckon if her eyes did look yellow, that would already been at the advanced stage.

Occasionally, we find it hard to pacify her, not knowing whether she is crying for milk, especially when she just had one feed an hour ago. Some books say that we should take the feeding cue from babies and feed when they need it. Others cautioned that we should not use food as a form of pacifier and therefore we had to be sure baby is indeed hungry. Sometimes we do get the signs of hunger: sucking of fingers, smacking of lips. But we were not very eager to feed her because we could not keep up with the breast milk supply, and we wanted baby to take breast milk as much as possible.

Some people consoled us that it takes time for breast milk to increase, while Doc claimed that it’s ‘worrying’ that baby is not taking enough. If breast milk is insufficient, we have to give formula milk, but then how can we ensure total breastfeeding? Will the breast milk increase over the next few days? Mrs. Wong (Thomson Medical Centre) told us that mature milk only comes after 2 weeks, but I wonder: how can baby wait that long?

Despite having a confinement lady at home to take care of things, I have no mood and interest to ‘sink in’ to do my assignments. Everytime I do the projects, I need to be ‘in it’, without any distractions and worries. Right now, my heart and mind goes to Angie and Mayenne, every minute of the day.

Ironically, this could be the most free period of child-caring, because once the nanny leaves, we’re on our own.

Monochrome photos of Mayenne looking in absolute maturity:


  1. You just never know what they want. But at this age (just a few days old), there are only 3 things – hungry, shit or sleepy. Just check these 3 things and you might just hit jackpot. And if the baby continues to cry, Angie, try the secret weapon – hair-dryer.

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